Do I Need an Intimacy Coordinator for “Just a Kiss?"

There are some scenes where the need for an intimacy coordinator is pretty clear. When clothes come off and the temperature heats up, it’s easy to see why actors, directors, and crew might need help navigating the physical and emotional boundaries that come with more explicit content.

But what about intimacy when the clothes stay on? Do you need an intimacy coordinator for every little cheek peck, hug, or cuddle?

Well, it really depends. To understand when an intimacy coordinator might need to step in on the “easy” stuff, it’s important to understand the different intersections of identity, culture, religion, and personal experiences that actors bring to this work, which can increase their need for support for various degrees of physical contact.

Why Actors Might Need Support for Kissing or Non-Explicit Touch

While kissing may be a physical storytelling tool that some actors feel very comfortable utilizing, other actors may have very specific boundaries around lip-to-lip or lip-to-body contact stemming from a variety of reasons.

These reasons may include:

• Religious beliefs

  Some performers may have specific religious beliefs surrounding any intimate contact with anyone who is not their partner or spouse.
  

• Personal convictions

  Some performers may have personal convictions barring certain types of touch with their scene partners.
  

• Illness

  Some performers may be battling acute or chronic illnesses that could put them or their scene partners at risk.
  

• Age

  Younger performers are particularly vulnerable and should have the support of an intimacy coordinator when being asked to tell stories that include things like a first kiss.

  
  

As we can see, the reasons why a performer may need support for “just a kiss” are quite broad and personal. An intimacy coordinator can help performers and directors navigate these specific needs and boundaries while maintaining the artistic “core” of the scene.

How Do You Know When You Need an Intimacy Coordinator for a Kiss?

Since kissing isn’t always a choreography element that actors or directors feel the need for additional support on, it can be hard to know when it’s time for an intimacy coordinator to step in.

Some good ways to know if you’ll need an intimacy coordinator for a scene with kissing or other light contact are:

• If an actor requests one This is the easiest way to know you need an IC. If an actor raises a request that an IC be present, even for an “easy” scene, then it’s time to bring an IC on board to support them.
  

• If the kissing escalates Kissing that escalates to heavy petting, intimate touch, etc., will likely benefit from the support of an intimacy coordinator to ensure it's properly choreographed and performer boundaries are established and honored.

  
  

• If you have other intimate scene work in your script If you have other types of intimate scene work in your script, then the intimacy coordinator you bring on to cover that work can consult with your performers about whether they’ll need direct support for scenes that only include kissing, touching, etc.
  

• If your actors are minors This one is a personal conviction that I and many other intimacy coordinators share. If you have minors who need to do a kissing scene on-camera, having an intimacy coordinator there to support the performers and mask the kiss as may be necessary will ensure that your young actors have the support and protection they need during these incredibly vulnerable scenes.
  

If you’re still not sure whether to bring an IC on, ask for a consultation! A trained intimacy coordinator can help you understand where in your script they may need to provide support, as well as walk you through the standards and protocols we use to create a safe creative space for everyone involved.