Dos and Don'ts of Working with an Intimacy Coordinator

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Introduction to intimacy coordinators

As an actor or filmmaker, you may have heard of the term "intimacy coordinator" before. But what exactly do they do? An intimacy coordinator is a trained professional who is responsible for ensuring that intimate scenes in film, television, and theatre productions are handled with care and respect. Their role is to work with the cast and crew to choreograph and rehearse these scenes and ensure that everyone involved feels safe and comfortable throughout the process.

What is an intimacy coordinator, and why do film sets need them?

In the past, intimate scenes in film and television were often left to the actors and directors to figure out on their own. This could lead to uncomfortable and even dangerous situations, especially for actors who felt pressured to perform in a certain way. The #MeToo movement brought attention to the need for better protocols and guidelines for intimate scenes, and intimacy coordinators have become more common in recent years.

Intimacy coordinators are trained professionals who specialize in creating a safe and respectful environment for intimate scenes. They work closely with the director, actors, and other crew members to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and on the same page. They also provide guidance on how to approach and execute intimate scenes in a way that is both believable and respectful.

The role of an intimacy coordinator on set

The role of an intimacy coordinator on set can vary depending on the production and the specific needs of the scene. Generally, their responsibilities include:

• Collaborating with the director and actors to choreograph and rehearse intimate scenes

• Providing guidance on how to approach and execute these scenes in a way that is safe and respectful

• Ensuring that all parties involved (including crew members) are able to provide informed consent as they work on intimate scenes

• Setting boundaries and guidelines for physical contact during the scene

• Providing support and resources for actors who may be feeling uncomfortable or overwhelmed

Overall, the goal of an intimacy coordinator is to create a safe and professional environment for intimate scenes, while still allowing for artistic expression and creativity.

Benefits of working with an intimacy coordinator

Working with an intimacy coordinator can offer several benefits for actors, directors, and other crew members.

For actors, having an intimacy coordinator on set:

• Provides them with an advocate who can help them establish and enforce their boundaries around the work they're undertaking

• Gives them an opportunity to ask specific questions about the scene ahead of time in a protected environment

• Allows access to a specialized choreographer they can collaborate with to create more dynamic performances

• Support them in selecting proper modesty garments and barriers

For directors, intimacy coordinators:

• Help ensure the performers are getting a clear picture of the director's vision for the scene

• Offer choreographic support as needed

• Equip directors with language they can use to direct intimate scenes in a way that is direct, inclusive, and consent-forward

For other crew members, working with an intimacy coordinator can:

• Help ensure that the scene is executed in a safe and respectful manner from start to finish

• Clarify expectations about closed-set protocols

• Give crew members access to informed consent around the material they will be working on

• Support production in ensuring all union protocols regarding the filming of intimate scenes are upheld

Common misconceptions about intimacy coordinators

Despite the growing use of intimacy coordinators in the entertainment industry, some common misconceptions exist about their role and purpose. One of the biggest misconceptions is that they are there to "police" the actors and prevent any physical contact from happening. Intimacy coordinators are there to provide guidance and support, not restrict artistic expression.

Another misconception is that intimacy coordinators are only necessary for explicit or graphic scenes. However, even a simple kiss or embrace can be uncomfortable or triggering for an actor. An intimacy coordinator can help ensure that every scene where a performer may be in a more vulnerable position is handled with care and respect.

Do’s and Don'ts of working with an intimacy coordinator

Working with an IC for the first time? Here are some easy do’s and don’ts to remember to help you have a successful day on set:

DOS:

• Respect the boundaries and guidelines set by the intimacy coordinator

This may be the most obvious one, but respecting the role of the intimacy coordinator and the guidelines they set is essential to a successful collaboration. If you have questions or concerns about why certain protocols are in place, feel free to express these to your IC and workshop solutions together.

• Communicate openly and honestly about your comfort level with the scene

Intimacy coordinators have lots of tools to help you work around your needs, but they first need to know what those are. And we get it, it can be challenging to talk about feelings of vulnerability or even fear when it comes to your work, but your IC is specifically trained to help you examine those feelings and offer solutions to accommodate them.

• Ask questions if you are unsure about anything

As I mentioned before, your IC is always available to answer questions or concerns you may have about any part of the process of creating the scene. We can’t fix problems we don’t know exist, so we always try to make space to answer questions as they arise.

• Be willing to adapt and make changes if necessary

Not everything is always going to go exactly to plan. Part of creating a consent-forward set is allowing things to change as we talk about and move through the work. Consent is an ongoing process, and sometimes new boundaries or challenges arise. Your IC will help everyone workshop solutions as these issues occur, so be open to their suggestions and adjustments and actively collaborate on solutions.

• Treat the intimacy coordinator with professionalism and respect

And this doesn’t stop at the intimacy coordinator. Treating everyone with dignity, respect, and kindness in any collaborative environment should be the standard.

DON'TS:

• Wait until the day before to hire an IC

ICs and performers need time to establish boundaries and build clear communication around the expectations for the scene well before stepping on set.

Additionally, SAG-AFTRA requires that for scenes with nudity, the nudity rider (which the IC will work with the performer to clarify the specific nudity they are consenting to) must be sent to the performer no less than 48 hours prior to shooting.

• Pressure or coerce anyone into doing something they are uncomfortable with

It can be frustrating to adjust to hearing “no” when so much of our creative culture treats this as a forbidden word. However, if you’re looking at hiring an IC, you probably already want to do things better. That’s why it’s essential to listen to and accept the boundaries put in place by your co-collaborators and avoid asking coercive questions like “Can you just do it this once?”

Need help with your ask? Ask your IC for some tips.

• Ignore the guidelines set by the intimacy coordinator

These are in place for the safety and comfort of everyone on the set.

• Make inappropriate or insensitive comments or jokes about the performers and/or scene

While most workplaces don’t include nudity or simulated sex, ours does, but that doesn’t make it any less of a professional environment. So at all times, keep your language and attitude professional.

How to find and hire an intimacy coordinator

If you are a filmmaker or actor looking to hire an intimacy coordinator for your production, there are several resources available. There are several professional certification programs that include directories of IC’s that have completed certification training with them, including:

• Intimacy Directors & Coordinators

• Intimacy Coordinators Canada

• Intimacy for Stage and Screen (UK)

SAG-AFTRA has also released the SAG-AFTRA Intimacy Coordinators & Directors Registry, a registry of intimacy coordinators meeting SAG's established training and industry experience criteria.

Another option is to reach out to local theatre companies or film schools to see if they have any recommendations. As with any hiring, it's important to do your research and ensure that the intimacy coordinator you hire is properly trained and qualified for the job.

Conclusion

Intimacy coordinators play a vital role in creating a safe and respectful environment for intimate scenes in film, television, and theatre productions. Actors, directors, and other crew members can navigate these challenging scenes with professionalism and respect by working with an intimacy coordinator.

Remember to communicate openly and honestly, respect boundaries and guidelines, and be willing to adapt and make changes as needed. With the help of an intimacy coordinator, intimate scenes can be executed in a believable and respectful way.